Remembering 2013

Honestly, there was a time this year that I really didn't want to remember 2013 at all. I actually wanted to fast forward to a new year as quickly as possible. But now, after some reflection, I take that back. Because some things, even though they are sad or throw you through a loop, they also make you grateful for what you do have.

And I am grateful for many things. I think at the top of my list would have to be my family and friends. They are what gets me through everyday with a smile on my face and comfort me when that smile may be lost. To see James grow every day and develop into a little man with such personality is awesome. It makes me love being a mom every day.

I am also extremely lucky to have a man at my side that above all makes me laugh and allows me to be my goofy self. He is truly my best friend and I love him as much as I did when we first met.

This year, we lost my grandma, and I miss her all the time. I think of her often. At first, these thoughts made me sad, but I then I remember that they are all great memories and I think she would have been happy to know that all the memories I have of her are good. And one wonderful thing came out of her passing and that was going back to WA in September to say our final farewells. It brought my immediate family together. For the first time in a long time my mom, dad, brother, and sister were all together. Just us, no boyfriends, husbands, or wives. In a way that was special. It was almost like saying goodbye to that part of my life as well. The part where your life is made up of just those important people in your family. And at the same time accepting and appreciating the newly extended family we now have with Stephanie, Brian, James, and Frankie. 

So even though the last part of 2013 was tough, I learned a lot from it and it made me remember that there were a lot of good things that happened this year as well, such as: going to the Bahamas with Brian for a much needed vacation, not spending May in a hospital bed like that of 2012, James turning one, going to Ocean City with my mom for my birthday, witnessing one of my best friends marry, completing my second half marathon with Brian by my side, and having a wonderful holiday season full of family visits, amazing gifts, and memories to last a lifetime.

This year surprised me in the end and I am a better person for the things I have experienced.  Here's to another wonderful year to come in 2014!

My Name is Not Anna

Growing up I had the pleasure of having a name that wasn't so common. I never had to be the second or even third "Ann" in a classroom. I loved that. I also loved the fact that it was easy to say. I mean, it's pretty hard to mess up a one syllable name. It wasn't until college that my name was even remotely said incorrectly during roll call. Even then, it was because my school for some reason put my middle name with my first, so I always got "Ann Marie." Still at least that was pronounced right and was close.

But for some reason the name "Anna" has haunted me at work. With my new last name being "Arena" I suppose I can see how maybe some people may get confused. But even before I changed it, people thought I was "Anna." Although, I will admit that most of the mistakes have come post name change. I've tried everything too. Signing with:

Ann Arena
Ann M. Arena

and yes even

Ann
Arena

And still I would get "Hello Anna" in return. Seriously. I just didn't get it. So, I gave up all together and just did:

Ann . . .

Nope, still ANNA! Sometimes even spelled "Ana." I even put a message under my name in our instant messenger that my name is not Ann or Ana. Doesn't seem to matter because once again today, after even speaking to the person on the phone, they wrote me an email and addressed it to "Anna." UGH.

I am beginning to wonder who this "Anna" is? I should just adopt the name as my work name, my alter-ego.

But really . . .

I AM NOT ANNA!

Well Hello There

I know it's been forever and a year since I last wrote something here. But as you can imagine life with a now 1-year-old is a little hectic. However, I have to say being a mommy is the best thing ever! I love that little boy more than words can say and it's so much fun watching him grow and learn every day. I would love to get back to blogging more though. It's fun to look back on older posts.

Here's my goal with this little blog world: blog at least once a month, which does sound fairly reasonable. Secretly, or well, not so secret now that I am putting it out there, I would like to try for once a week, but baby steps, people, baby steps. There is lots to catch you up on and it may be hard to go over it all in just one blog, so I will try to hit the high notes in several, along with hopefully adding in some new stuff that's been going on.

First thing I would like to share with you is a little experiment I am trying, called going without sugar and coffee for a month. What a crazy idea right and how on earth did I ever end up deciding to do it? Well, Brian and I started training for a half marathon this month and on one of the runs I got to thinking about how much sugar I eat in a day. It was one of those days where I think I had a chocolate chip muffin for breakfast, lunch, and then an oreo cheesecake cupcake mid-day, followed by a pack of M&Ms, that I didn't need, a little later. This all before I left work for the day. Can you tell I have a sweet tooth? As I was running I was thinking of how ridiculous that was and I thought, "wow, that's in addition to the sugar that I already add to everything," such as, coffee. I probably add a little less than half, if not half, a spoon full of sugar to my coffee which I have every morning. I thought, well, that's in the cup I sometimes get in the morning before going to work and then in the cup I actually have at work. Add all that up for a week and you probably get about 1/4 cup for a week, 4 weeks to a month, that's about 1 cup of sugar per month! And that's just in my coffee! I also regularly had sweets throughout the week as well.

I think my pace may have increased when I envisioned all that sugar piled up in bags on my island. I needed to make a change. I certainly don't need to be eating that much sugar. So I told Brian that was it, I was cutting it out. Well, sorta . . . more like I was cutting out eating things that were more considered desserts and candy, or adding sugar to anything. But I told him that he needed to be my rock in this because it would be easy for me to slip. He agreed, but also threw in the idea of giving up coffee too (he drinks way more if it than I do and thought he should probably cut back a little too). We made the commitment to try to do it for the next couple of weeks and then slowly add it back in.

It's been a week. It's been no cake walk (no pun intended), but I've managed to go an entire week without. Well, sorta. Brian, didn't last at all with the coffee. He just couldn't do it with the massive headache he got, so he broke down on day one and had a cup. However, he has stuck to only one cup during the day, much better than his 3 he use to have. Me, well, the coffee part was easy, although Tues and over the weekend Brian made some and I did have a cup. However, I never added sugar once. Doesn't even taste that bad without it. I've also gotten decaf here and there, but still no sugar.

As for sweets, I did great during the work week, but I did get together with a friend on the weekend and ordered a small dessert after our dinner. I also had my parents over yesterday and we did fresh fruit, ice cream, and angel-food cake for dessert (it was awesome). Again, way better than I have been in the past. Baby steps, like I said. But overall, it's been getting easier. I'm hoping that this will eventually make sugar something that is truly a treat and not just an everyday experience.

Wish me luck!

Delivery at 36, um, I mean 35 weeks

The time spent in a hospital room seems like forever ago now. I had talked to my doctor and we decided that they would induce me at 36 weeks, but true to form, James came when he wanted too, exactly a week before they were due to induce. It was a long time in the hospital, but I was very thankful to have delivered at 35 weeks instead of 29, when I was first admitted.

James had to spend 18 days in the NICU, which was longer than I had expected. However, he had no major problems after delivery and that was a huge relief. It was very difficult to leave the hospital without my little man in tow. I was thankful for my freedom, but it felt like I was leaving my heart behind. Those couple of weeks were tough. Brian and I visited him daily and were thrilled when we finally got the green light to bring him home!

But of course even our homecoming had to be thrown off. Nothing about this ending was normal that's for sure. As soon as we came home we had one night in our house before the derecho hit the next evening. Leaving us without power in the middle of a heat wave. It was crazy. We tried to tough it out one night, but the next morning, when we discovered it may be a few days before the power would come back on, we decided to leave. I called my parents and they thankfully still had power, so we high tailed it over there. Our first week with our little one was spent with my parents and as much as I love them, Brian and I were relieved when we could finally head home and spend some alone time with James.

However, looking back, everything really did go as well as it could have considering the circumstances and for that I am thankful. James is 100 percent healthy and full of smiles every day. Not to mention the fact that he is an amazing sleeper. I am definitely blessed there. He was sleeping 6 hours straight by the time he was close to three months old. We never really have any trouble putting him to bed in the nursery either. He's be great when we go out as well. This is how they get you to have more kids, when the first one is so well behaved, haha. But really he is the absolute light of my life and I really can't say enough about him. I am looking forward to all the experiences that still lie ahead of us.

You know what they say about the best laid plans . . .

Well, they don't always work out do they? I knew I should have never written that blog about putting a big check mark next to my life, although at the time I felt pretty much on top of everything. Until the first day of May. In the early morning my water broke. I mean, I wasn't 100% sure that's what it was, but that's what my gut was telling me. Luckily, Brian was home and we immediately called my doctor to figure out what to do next. I kept thinking, "I'm only 29 weeks, this can't be happening." My doctor was calm and and asked if I was in any pain, which surprisingly I wasn't and the told me she'd see me at 9:00 a.m., it was only 6:45 a.m. So I took my time and got ready, which later I was glad I had done.

When we got to the doctor's office I explained what happened and he immediately did an ultrasound and left to run a few tests. When he came back I was hoping that he would say I peed myself, embarrassing, but I was willing to accept that. However, he was very serious and told me that my water did break. Brian told me I asked him "what" three times before it sunk in. Then he gave me strict instructions to go directly to the hospital where they'd check me in. He said I had to wrap my head around the fact that I may have the baby within 24 hours or I may be at the hospital for a very long time on bed rest.

After he left room Brian and I just looked at each other in disbelief. This certainly wasn't the way I saw this all happening. Brian was amazing, so calm and collected. It made me feel more at ease with everything. After I was checked in I was given a steroid shot that helps the baby's development of their lungs. He would need two, but they couldn't give them back to back. So we just had to hope that he would stay in one more day so he could get the other one. The lungs are the last thing to fully develop at that stage and these shots would give him better chances once delivered. Meanwhile, I was put on a monitor to listen to the baby and see if I was contracting, which I was, although I didn't feel them. Therefore, to help them stop they hooked me up to an IV of fluid and had me drink plenty of water. Water is amazing, within a matter of minutes they had stopped.

The next few days passed without a hitch and we had made it past that crucial 48 hours without having to deliver. This was great news, but it also meant I could be in the hospital for a while. Fast forward to 33 weeks and I am still here, in a private room at least, with the hope of delivering at 36 weeks. That means if this little nugget doesn't come on his own before, I will be induced anywhere between 17 June and 23 June. The great news about that is hopefully he won't have to stay in the NICU for very long. I just have to stay sane for three more weeks. I have nothing but nice things to say about my hospital staff and doctors though. Everyone have been so helpful. I am so looking forward to this end date though, meeting this little guy and finally going home. That is going to be the best day. Wish us luck!

To Dos . . .

Guess what I picked up this past this month . . . this!!

Yes, I know about freakin' time. Now, it's all tucked away. Not sure what I want to do with it. I've always thought it would be cool to renew our vows at the 10 year mark and it would be, of course, super cool if I could still fit into it then. We'll see. I'll hang on to it till then and maybe if we have a daughter she'll want to incorporate something from it in her dress or for her wedding. I doubt she would wear it, but at least it's an option. 

As for the rest of my "to dos" I've actually been able to check off quite a bit in the last month. We've painted the baby's room and love the color. So glad we went with grey. I took some before shots too, so once it's all together I should be able to do the big unveil for you. My parents were nice enough to get us the changing table over last weekend. And Brian's dad is getting us the crib, while his mom offered to get the stroller and car seat. What a relief. All this stuff adds up so fast! I'm so thankful we have so much help. With all those things taken care of my list was really cut down.

I also signed Brian and myself up for two baby things. One is a tour of the hospital I'll be delivering at and the other is a baby care class. It will be a good refresher for me since it's been a while since I changed a diaper and such from my babysitting days and for Brian since, well, he's never had any experience with babies. I'm still contemplating the lamaze class . . . maybe.

The good news is that in general I feel pretty good about where everything stands with the baby stuff. The biggest thing besides all that on the horizon for us is getting a new car and trading mine in :( Such a sad day, but it's time and we're going to need to cars that can carry this little dude around in. So far we're looking at the Jeep Compass, Subaru Forester and Outback, and the Toyota Rav4. We're test driving today and I have a feeling it'll come down to one of the Subarus. I'll have to let you know what we thought after. For now I am putting a big check mark next to my life at the moment.

Our Little Man Face

This past checkup we had an unexpected surprise. We didn't know they would be doing a full ultrasound and with it they did a couple 3D shots too. Of course our little one was once again camera shy, but we were able to get some 3/4 views. At one point during the ultrasound we got to see him open his mouth as if to yawn and we could even see his little tongue. So amazing what technology can do these days.